Birds chirping loudly.
Beautiful grey sky above,
Trapping their smooth sound.
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something i attempted when i looked out at the sky one day. a simple Haiku, no real crazy meaning...but i decided to experiment
edit: and yes, this is supposed to be a traditional haiku |
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Comments
I can't do haiku's... lol I suck at them...
Only thing I could say is, the first line doesnt really flow, if it were me, I would say either "Birds chirping loudly" or Birds chirping aloud" I just dont like the word "are" in there... lol
Anyway i hate constructive critism, because its your poem, not mine! lol But if you care thats what i think, im rambling....
--
They can take the future that we'll never know,
They can take the places that we said we will go,
All the broken dreams, take everything, just take it away, But they can never have yesterday.
--
"Revenge...is a meal best served cold..."-Denzel Washington in, Man On Fire
some day...maybe I can be forgiven. Maybe all of this can be forgotten...but in the instant, I am lost...
...28.06.42.12...
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